so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
