The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
