You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
