Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's on the porch naked. Help.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
