do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
