There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My pussy is not your playground.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
