this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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