Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
