I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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