i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
