why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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