No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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