just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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