1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize