Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
