you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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