new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
