Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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