Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
