dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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