Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
