two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
