exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
