so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
