Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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