Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize