Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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