I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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