week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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