Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
