She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just took my morning after pill in the library
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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