I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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