I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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