We're like a lot better than the average bears
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am mentally ready for anal.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
