I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I died a long time ago.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize