is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
FUCK WHALES
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
