It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
