so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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