I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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