so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
