I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
