I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize