It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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