why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize