break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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