Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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