No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
