i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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