No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
