sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
