HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize