it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
