even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this will be a night to untag.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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