Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
