I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
