Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
