That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
