Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
