if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize