Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
