can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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