I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
