I can tuck mytits in my pants
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
