At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
