no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
