i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
