Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
