Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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