You really coming over, don't trick.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize