Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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