its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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