so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
