So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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