Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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