I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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