What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
