I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i've created a new STD.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
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