My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
