this beer tastes like vomit already
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
