people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
