they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We have started to decorate penises.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
