It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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