dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
