Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
