Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize