Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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