Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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