I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
