that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
