we have officially mastered the walk of shame
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i out mim tonsoeep
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